Count your blessings

I went through a dark period of undue stress the last couple of weeks...but 6 days of leave later, I'm feeling like I am ready to face reality again. And to write again...because writing has time and again proven to be therapeutic. So here I am again!! Sorry for the neglect...my brain was just pretty fried the last month or so...

Stress was from adaptation to a new environment, new colleagues and the change/disruption in old schedules. While previously the commute to work via bus took 15minutes; the commute now via train takes 40 minutes ++...and lots of walking. It also involves waking up at 530am...

I'm in Cardiology now..and sadly there are no housemen, so there we are, the MOs, with no protection whatsoever, getting all sorts of nonsense calls from the wards. It takes a while to get used to that. Words cant express how much I NEED A HO...

I'll be moving somewhere nearer to my current workplace end of November, so that will hopefully take out some of the stresses. And I will also be living VERY NEAR the boyfriend, so that will also take away some of the stress with regards to time.

Thanks for stopping by still in spite of the lack of posts!

I didn't mean it

It had been a harrowing week at work. We were short on manpower, and one particular boss was driving us up the wall with her OCDness and crazy demanding unreasonable behaviour.

And so I tried to remain calm, like how I always try. I'll remain cool, and seem, on the outside, unaffected.

And then, ultimately, I'd break down. I'd break down real bad. And to make things worse, I'd be unable to exactly pinpoint what's making me break-down. Annnnd....to make things much much much worse, the person I'll crash upon is often the one that cares most, and the one I love most.

So that was what happened on Thursday night. I was already in a foul-mood after work, and when boyfriend and I met up...I was absolutely silent, and pulling a loooonnng face. I was, as the adults would say, acting up.

I tried to smile, but then sadness just welled up inside of me. What am I sad about? Oh, sorry to tell you; but I myself didn't know.

The icing on the cake/the climax of my melodramaticity happened in the middle of a busy foodcourt right smack in Ion Orchard - boyfriend was really trying his best to make me feel better....holding my hand, putting his arms around my shoulder, telling me random stuff (all of which were met with dead silence and curt answers)..............and then he asked the oh-so-sensitive question "Am I making you mad?" with so much concern in his eyes; I couldn't take it anymore. I turned on the waterworks. Or rather, the pipes spontaneously burst. Yes, I cried. And I cried and I cried and I cried. (Brings back memories of Year 1 in Medical School when I cried in the canteen during orientation because a Senior asked me Are you ok?) And then I tried to think really hard if he was making me mad, and then I started blabbing while crying and blabbing while crying and then I said the killer words (out of impulsivenes and again, melodramaticity - that's why I stopped watching TV). Anyway, I said, just like in a tv drama -I don't think we share the same vision for the future.

That was it. Boyfriend stood up from where he was sitting opposite me.


And came to sit beside me. And that made it even harder to control my tears.

Anyway, to cut the long story short, boyfriend actually had a shock of his life, he thought I wanted a break-up. Don't tell him, but I secretly thought it was kind of amusing. I know, I'm really evil.

Anyway, the moral of this story is, GIRLS, DON'T SIMPLY TALK. You might not mean it, but them guys, they are just so damn serious. They take your words literally.

AND, THE SECOND MORAL OF THE STORY: DON'T LET YOUR KIDS WATCH DRAMAS. They'll be dysfunctional for life. They'll think that they are actresses even in real life.

Oh oh and for the guys.... DON'T BE OFFENDED BY A GIRL WHO CRIES IN FRONT OF YOU. It's a rare privilege, although unavoidably, you'll get dirty looks from strangers around you. But then again, what do THEY know?

THE LAST MORAL OF THE STORY IS: I NEED TO KEEP A CHECK ON MY EMOTIONS

PEACE TO EARTH

Ps: We've patched things up; this man, his heart is really fragile, I don't think I'd dare play play with him like that ever again.

Up to some mischief

Hey guys, just in case you are wondering....

I'm still alive.

Just a little busy with on-calls, work.....



Post-call indulgence - JCo pops, they call em


And erm... some guy I met not too long ago.



Now THIS guy has been taking up alot of my non-work time.

Well, not that I mind it one bit.
After all, he pays for the food :)

On a cool breezy rainy morning, sipping coffee, looking out the window, thinking of my Saviour's love for mankind....I just can't help but sing out with praise.

In whatever situation in your life at this point, take heart, lay your burdens upon the Lord, and let Him carry you through it all.

Have a blessed weekend.

Matt Redman's Once Again song is just so awesome!!

Once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life

Just the uplift I need in times when I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall again.

It's almost been one month; my heart still skips a beat everytime he reaches out to to hold my hands.

This boyfriend of mine, his affection knows no subtlety. We were at church on Sunday, and he held my hands all through the sermon. Forgive me God, I hope I did nothing wrong. :)

Best of all, is when he comes from behind me and wraps his big strong hands around my waist. I melt, and I become delirious.

One month ago I would have jumped out of my skin if that happened

A mutual friend of ours has found out about our relationship, and I have a strong suspicion that this blog is the culprit. Not that there's anything wrong with him finding out, it's bound to be revealed to people close to us sooner or later....but HAVE YOU READ MY POST ON HOW WE BECAME OFFICIAL??!! I reread it just now, and tried to put myself in our friend's shoes, and to find out this way is just...uhh...uhhh....uhhh....ewww.

Sorry; now I understand how you guys felt.

Goodbye, and see you next year. I am heartfully embarassed. Really, I am.

Holiday, holiday, holiday

In Hanoi for a short break...staying in Hanoi Elegance 4 Hotel in the Old Quarter. Best way to describe this place - Organised chaos.

The traffic for one, is absolutely insane. Someone once gave me a tip which proved very useful. In order to cross the roads here, just close your eyes, walk straight on and do not stop. The piece of advice has proven to be quite valuable so far, I am still unscathed after crossing many small roads.

Despite the crazy traffic and never-ending honking, the vibe and culture of this place is wonderful.
The area around Hoan Khim lake; the lake in the middle of the city, is very romantic. There was a little shower this morning when we arrived, so the air was clean and breezy after. It was just relaxing to walk around and think of you know...uhm...him.

Dinner was spent squatting at roadside stalls digging into tiger prawns, seasnails, cockles and clams. The sauces here are absolutely lovely - spicy, salty and sour.

Pics to come when we get back.

To Halong Bay for a junk cruise tomorrow!

It's so fun dating a self-confessed hopeless romantic. We just go around town grossing everybody out.

And that's all I have to say about it!

How do I tell my mother

We met at City Hall MRT today. He took my hand as we were going up the escalator; our fingers entertwined, his grip strong and firm. We went to dinner at Ministry of Food at Marina Square. We laughed and we talked about general things. Then he brought me to the roof terrace of Singapore's Durian, held my hands and told me things that nearly brought me to tears I had to tell him to stop. And then I made some stupid lame-o joke. I told him how he had wrecked my perfect plan of being a successful single girl. In between all this I had transient ventricular tachycardia, my stomach felt like it was floating on zero gravity and my ovaries sang like crazy.

And therefore/thus/as a consequence of this; We are, in the words of my Man in Stripes : Official

Ps: I'm sorry Dom, it's my ovaries, again.
After this we'll talk about science! And calculus! And cardiology! Promise!

Another thing to love about him

He eliminates the need for the excruciatingly painful guessing game that I had come to accept as an inevitable part in the initiation of relationships - H.e likes me, or he likes me not?

His signals and messages are clear, convincing and reassuring.

And I do not have to keep score with his responses. They are spontaneous, surprising, hilarious, and corny.


Ps: Looks like this blog is gonna be a little vomit-inducing for the rest of you for quite some time!

He knows how to handle my aversions

My mum doesn't yet know about him; but he is shy and unassuming, he cooks, he sings, he plays the guitar, he works with figures and statistics, he makes things feel effortless, he makes my heart throb and my stomach churn, and he makes my ovaries sing.

Oops... did I say make my ovaries sing? It's them and having their own opinion independent of me again. Getting more and more out of hand these days.

:)

Still stumped by what exactly happened, and amazed at how things have evolved so rapidly in just over a week; but I am strongly suspecting that the striped shirt was what did me in. I've always known (and feared) that I'd be done in by a man in a striped shirt. It's my Achille's tendon, my weak point. It makes my, uh...skirt fly up.

Figuratively speaking, I mean. What kind of a girl do you take me for?

Oh the exhilaration of budding love!




My parents....28 years and three rascals later......I know what you're thinking.... my dad's thinning and greying hair was contributed by my brothers and I. Especially my brothers.... But I'm not talking about my dad's hair...I'm talking about my parents' affection for each other.

No relation to the above statement. 28 years is mature love...very different from budding love.


What I'm saying is........

I'm just captivated by men who have an unbridled sense of affection; and who are unafraid to express themselves. There is something very endearing about it...especially if they are normally the shy type.

Uh...related to the above statement...I mean, the one waaaayy above.

I'm just not telling who it's related to.



Ps: Sorry dad...I didn't mean to talk bad about your hair.

I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart wanna sing